Sitting at my desk, I raise my head ever so slightly and glance out over my laptop. Beyond this fine piece of Chinese manufacturing, there is a window. Outside that window, I am privy to a beautiful Nebraska sunset sinking slowly into the vast westward skyline. I could not be more dialed in for tonight’s blog.

I’ve been structuring my “10 reasons I hate professional golfer Bubba Watson” content in my head since lunchtime. To be honest, this subject is something that has been weighing heavy on my heart for some time. It was to be the complete comprehensive analysis of the most pretentious cry baby in modern golf. A true masterpiece.¬†The Chipotle I devoured during lunch could not have been more necessary to propel me through the rest of the day to get to this very moment. Like coal to an old steam engine, fake Mexican food is the fuel that keeps me trudging down the line.

Sometimes steam engines go off the rails. Other times, tech support agents break through the lowest rational tier of competency. This is the story of Shwetha, the foreign Tech Support agent from Bluehost.

Now you may be saying hey Admin, don’t let one man take the Big Red Turtle choo choo off topic. Stick to the important stuff. ¬†Things such as, now former Husker wide-reciever Keyshawn Johnson Jr. taking bong hits in the UNL dorm rooms or Jordan Spieth nut tapping his caddy. And you’re right. These are the things that truly matter. But like any journalist with absolutely no credentials, when there is a story unraveling in front of you, it mustn’t go un-blogged. I owe it to myself. More importantly, I owe it to you.

Here. We. Go.

While doing a little house keeping to the website on the back end of things, I was suddenly unable to access the Cpanel of BRT. Don’t worry about what a Cpanel is, it is not important. Login credentials wouldn’t work. However, access to email and the website were still available. No big deal. So I do what any great leader does in a situation such as this. I use quick, but calculated judgement and pull up a support chat while finishing up. As I slowly fade back into actual work, I hear an unassuming chime radiate from my speakers. Alas, there he is in all his internet glory.

Upon first meeting Shwetha, I knew he was a snake in the grass.

I like to think I can trust my gut instinct to navigate through life. However, tonight was different. I went against the grain of my inner conscious. That’s on me and I paid the price (10 minutes of my life wasted and a Bubba Watson blog that will wait until tomorrow). Although Shwetha’s first impression was less than stellar. I proceed to converse with him. With the naivety of a child, I assumed he and I had a mutual goal. Two people, worlds apart, working symbiotically to achieve something together. What could have been a defining moment about the true power of the internet, suddenly turned into what looks to be a life long feud between a sports blog and an Indian man.

 

 

You see the problem with Shwetha is that he lacks a real salt of the earth mentality. He is not what you would call a BRT guy. Kid wouldn’t last two days in this jungle. He prefers a life of meandering through his work day, taking tech chats, offering no assistance and moving on to the next meaningless customer service roadblock appointed to him. All the while, not being able to witness the beautiful sunset that I have before me from inside his cubical. A figurative prison cell in which he will remain a captive until decides to provide some real value to his clients.

Although our time together was rather limited, I know all there is to know about Shwetha. A man of no integrity. A man not willing to help those in need or more importantly, those who cannot access their Cpanel. A man who… well you get the point. Shwetha sucks, but also provided me with a slight bit of entertainment for the evening.

I know what you are all wondering. The Cpanel, can I access it yet? Well, no. But rest assured, I will triumphantly solve this problem with another tech support agent tomorrow. It will not affect the site in any way, so no worries. And remember, love you guys.

Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories.

-Sun Tzu

 

 

 

 

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